Happy

This is my attempt at writing a post when I'm happy. My hair is flying out of a ponytail, I have one of my favorite outfits on, blasting music, clapping and dancing in a way that no one has ever seen me dance. Ever. I'm talking to people and I'm relishing in the fact that everything went my way today. That just everything about the world looks so perfect and going for me, that I can't even believe it's happening. And the chain of events that are so blissful, send me on a high that has me looking to the sky unable to breathe. Even something that has been known to bring me to my knees crying, is simply invisible at this moment, and I'm convinced it has to do with the sunlight streaming, and the gentle wind. I can't tell you much else about what this feels like, or anything going through my mind, because everything in is a heated whirlwind. So this, relating to my earlier post, is what I'm like when I'm happy. I don't care if the neighbors bother me 'cause the music is on blast, and I'm stomping my feet. What I'll do, is I will go out on that fire escape, and I will shout until they can hear me down in Harlem and up in Inwood cause I am SO DAMN HAPPY.

Camp

Now I'm going to do what people normally do on their blogs: talk about life.

I guess it's everything I've been doing at my camp, that makes me not think. No social epiphanies, no broken hearts, just russian ballet training. I mean, with the different cliques inside the studio, there are people to talk to and to stimulate your mind. But not quite as hellish as junior high school; I'm also too tired to blog when I get home.

Regardless, I love camp. I love the fact that all I have to do is go and take class, and 85% of the time, class is fun. It's especially fun because there is no stress for shows, and its SUMMERTIME so everyone is happy. I get to see my camp friends. Even though it's a day camp and not a sleepaway like most people, I still have a whole separate group of close friends for the summer. Every summer, we spend four weeks doing everything together, in my little group of four. It's great to reconnect with them, and to remember how much we love each other. It's miraculous, and carefree, to just run around with them all day and not really worry about the world outside of pointe shoes.

So maybe I will have an epiphany later.

Romance

This is actually a true story and not a random fiction on the spot. I watch it happen every Saturday. There is a girl in a black costume living a sheltered life around everyone and special, but too special to live. A girl of innocence, the angelic image, a trapped seventeen year old. What teenager like that wants to be so protected so out of touch, so naive? The perfect person is isolated though so glorious, but see, there is excitement for her. Someone has come from far away, literally the Prince to dance with. This is the moment, the only chance, contained emotion is bursting out. The spectators say, 'oh, what a wonderful actress' but can you see what is really going on? This is her life! Her little teen romance, and it's all hidden by the stage. Seduction, love, the game, the victory, what every other seventeen year old has at excess. Poor deprived soul. It's not acting. She's attracted to him and she's trying to get him because this is all she has to play at. But look. He's bored. She's just another girl he's hired to dance with.