Bathtub

You know something? I like to screw myself over. It's just something I do, and I wouldn't be me without it. I guess that's why I couldn't recognize myself then. O shit. I think there's a mouse somewhere in here. I also discovered, no matter how much I try to relax my face, my face will feel relaxed, but my true emotion will be written all over my face. Oh, I'm surprised i haven't written this yet. FML. *rolls over onto back*

"So Lil, what are you gonna do now? Just lay in the tub all night doing nothing? Huh Lil? What's the plan?" "Die," she replies. "No other way out."

"You can't die Lil. You know that. You're gonna stay alive, so what are you going to do?"

"Vomit," she replies.

"You're too weak."

"Starve."

"You like food too much."

"Cut." I don't reply. I am Maisy, the version of Lil that took over some time ago.

"Cut up those pretty legs?" I ask her.

"I'm lost," she replies. "Where am I?"

"You're coming back, with a job to do," I tell her. "It's almost midnight on a Friday night and this is gone from your life forever. What are you going to do Lil?"

"I can't feel enough to cry. I can't remember: do I hope?"

I ponder this. "I doubt, so yes Lil, you hope."

"Do I hope that this hasn't happened? Do I hope to wake up tomorrow to the sound of snow shovels and faint bachata? To see that-"

"I don't know," I cut her off. "I am Maisy and you are Lil. This bathtub is where we meet worlds. I'm handing the power over to you Lil. What do we do?"

"Look at what a mess you've made," she exclaims.

"I know. I'm sorry. They were trying times."

"And you lost the game; right? That's why you came. You've come to take me back to my realm of misery. But I can't face the light."

"No worries Lil, there's no light left - it's all darkness."

"But see dark is light for me, which is why the bad times are my day, which is why I belong where you can't survive. But Lil, you know what makes us the same?"

Silence.

"We both will still be always thinking about-"

"You're right."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna lay in this tub till I'm cold as shit, then light incense and pray and go to bed. If tomorrow comes, and I do still wake I sort it all out then. Because nothing matters until tomorrow comes."