Trust

You gotta trust SOMEONE in life. Everyone is human, everyone has their own personal motives and everyone is gonna lie. But there has to be at least one person, that you take the risk with. The risk in believeing that human harshness will be set aside, for the quality that makes us remotely functional as a soceity of animals. The quality that makes us want to look out for each other, and care about each others' well being. To believe in that quality in other people, is to trust them. Because the only time you would ever need someone else's trust, is in the protection of your own feelings, future, or material objects. Trust is either entirely emotional or forced by a feeling of morality. At that point, the person is taking care of you because of some feeling of debt to themselves or the world, and based on their own beliefs. Most people are not like this however.

Trust is a necissary part of survival. People like to trust in other people, but there tends to be a lot of wariness. There is no way to determine for sure what's going to happen. You can look at statistics of whether this person has been reported to be trustworthy, but you never know for sure - humans are unpredictable. But if you don't trust SOMEONE, you can never create relationships, and you will end up carrying a lot of weight and secrets on your own, which never ends well.

Know

Doesn't it suck to know something and not be able to mention it? I guess that kind of sounds like a secret, so maybe this should be called "Secret". But it's not a secret! It's just knowing. Knowing something I wasn't supposed to know, because I found out and I saw things and someone gave me a clue...

Sharing knowledge is so exciting! It gives you a sense of power to know things that others don't or for example, to know things that people don't think you know. The feeling of trading stories and information is just something natureally loved by humans - I guess that's gossip. Maybe this post should be called "Gossip".

But that's not what I'm talking about either! Gossip is when multiple people discuss multiple things, and this is one thing, kept from one person. Moi.

I don't really care about not knowing - there's a lot of stuff I don't know but I end up knowing in the end. The people who kept it from me really had no business telling me, and it doesn't change anything. But it's so interesting, I would just love to share it with you.

But I'm not supposed to know.

Paths

I somehow realized, that we are each individuals, with personal stories that are going on right now, even when I'm not around them. I only come into contact with their stories when my own path crosses theirs. But when I walk away, every one else's story keeps going. And even those who you are close to, your friends, are entirely different beings than yourself. Sometimes, I lose the sense of who people really are, and start to fill in things about them, which are pretty much fictional and based on my own impressions. So I have to wake up and realize how far apart I am from everyone. You can't live in anyone's head. And misunderstandings/miscommunication alone can create that huge distance. Once accepting the fact that we are entirely different and independant, when stories do come to interact and meet, it seems like a miracle. That people that could be running around on entirely different paths of life, somehow find each other for split seconds in time, and let their stories touch.

Hey

Hey. Wats up. Nothing much, just contemplating every word I hear. Yeah. That's cool. I hear you are constantly confused. That's right. It sucks. Be right back. I'm back, lets talk. About what? Anything. Who are you mad at? You. As usual. Not true! So true. At who? Either one of you; the world. You make no sense. That's okay. Okay? It's great. You realize this is a dream anyway? I get it! Me too! Congrats. Ditto. 8:37pm.

FICTION.

Gray

In a world that is one or none, you will find some small gray areas. No more than a millimeter wide, but still a gap to fall into. Accept no invitation uncertainly or halfway, lest you find yourself in the little gray areas. In that world, but not, in neither place. The gray area. Your friends are not there to protect you now, nor are the others willing to step out of the crowd to save the drowning lion cub. That baby lion set out to sure from home, may never return, or reach the other shore. That baby lion is in the gray area of the world, in great danger. Doomed to have the black and white sides of the earth cave in on him. In a harsh world of acceptance, do not be caught in the gray areas. Do not play with options and answers or dawdle, over-considering. The gray areas... not a very nice place.

Little

 Nothing wrong with pandas

  Nothing wrong with koalas

Nothing wrong with skunks

Nothing wrong with me.

Nothing wrong with old pictures

Nothing wrong with New York cookies

Nothing wrong with Oreos

Nothing wrong with me.

Hate

Wouldn't it be great if the ones that we hate, we could respect? Instead of hate? With the human natural instinct to love, and all the hate in the world, there must be a lot of intense people with a certain... negative talent. Thus shouldn't we respect those people as we respect others who have talent? It would be a great outlet for all that energy we're destroying the world with. But as you who know me know, I am not one to be talking about anti-hate. I'm not the most peaceful person in the world. But this is an idea for myself. What if all that hate I put out to *****, instead was respect for her ability to move me to such strong emotion? What would happen then?

Observation

Human beings are unique. They are interesting to observe. Observing is a hobby of mine. It's very useful too. I do it all the time. Looking in on situations and speculating the whole circumstance, it's like a wonderful little puzzle. And then you know something about one person or another or an event. Even if it doesn't have to do with you, it's nice to know. Human beings are unique. There are somethings that are predictable though. Some things you assume to irritate, or excite the person you are observing. But watch, when someone says something, or does something - watch the body language, the eyes. It's very interesting! Is the person under stress? Unsure? The flicker of eyes as they are observing too. Watch them, and then you get the immediate reaction as they take in the situation. From there, all sorts of theories can be made up, or planning, preparation...

Of course, one is never completely right. Human beings are unique. They can change instantly, faster than even they can see. In that case, you are in for the worst of luck, or the best. You'd better prepare for that too. Why, isn't it useful to know that in about the space of a month or two 'Sally' will be heartbroken and 'Polly' will be in heaven and you will be caught between the two - all because of 'bob'? I find that a bit useful, even if the wizardress of dreams doesn't. It's all in the body language, all in the eyes. Horrifying at times. Breaks my heart as well and this time I am thanking the stars I was wrong. At least, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong. Human beings are unique.

By the way, I am NOT a stalker.