Know

Doesn't it suck to know something and not be able to mention it? I guess that kind of sounds like a secret, so maybe this should be called "Secret". But it's not a secret! It's just knowing. Knowing something I wasn't supposed to know, because I found out and I saw things and someone gave me a clue...

Sharing knowledge is so exciting! It gives you a sense of power to know things that others don't or for example, to know things that people don't think you know. The feeling of trading stories and information is just something natureally loved by humans - I guess that's gossip. Maybe this post should be called "Gossip".

But that's not what I'm talking about either! Gossip is when multiple people discuss multiple things, and this is one thing, kept from one person. Moi.

I don't really care about not knowing - there's a lot of stuff I don't know but I end up knowing in the end. The people who kept it from me really had no business telling me, and it doesn't change anything. But it's so interesting, I would just love to share it with you.

But I'm not supposed to know.

Sleeping

I like to think of people sleeping. Not in a creepy way, i just like to think of people in a peaceful state. When they are weak, and barely in control of their minds and bodies. It creates feeling of innocence and truth in who, and what they are. This is not because I am some power-crazy being who wants to see my rivals vulnerable, it's just because there is something about people when they are sleeping, that is beautiful. Don't people usually say "aw, how cute," sometimes, even if the subject is over five? Isn't a sleeping human something to be revered? Something about the clear look in their face, free of set emotion, free of the effects of the outside world. At that moment, they are living inside of their own thoughts and ideas, operating independently, even if the thoughts are spawned from outside ideas; the life that they live when they are awake. The moment before sleeping, is when there is a moment of reality and emotion, where there is comfort and finaltiy in the day ending. So, I like to think of people sleeping. Makes me feel better. Even if they are far from me, I picture them at peace: sleeping.

Want

What is it about humanity that wants more when it has everything? Why do we strive for the most difficult goals and dismiss the simply gained ones? When you were seven years old, what did you dream about for your future? And now that you've reached some higher place, now that life is practically perfect - what's wrong? There is always a flaw in the picture, that no matter what else you try to surround it with, there's still that hole isnt there? There's still that thing in your life you would fix if you could, there's still that reason you'll be sad tonight, or tomorrow, or eventually. Living in a cloud of happiness is a lie... and even if you really, really do feel 100% happy, there's a lie to that too. We would not be human if there wasn't some gap to be filled by the mysterious key. Remember me talking about this key? This key is different. This key is EVERYONE'S key, and how are we ever going to find it? My frustration is with one thing, simply: living with the constant distraction of wanting with all your heart, the one thing you cannot have. Why can't other things in life make up for it? Why can't you fill the space with an alternate substance? Why is human desire so specific and impossible to satisfy?

Honesty

I sailed the ocean blue, days and nights, love and sad, searching for the thing that would make me feel complete - for more than an hour. And finally, while flipping my head around along with ten other people one night, I discovered. Honesty. It is that honesty that never exists but is constantly strived for. And once this is found, discussed and enjoyed, life is so much easier in a way. While, most of the time, we will feel let down, disappointed, insulted, etc, at least the suspicion is gone! At least the little bugger at the back of your head will finally have something for fact, instead of working itself into a state of Chicken Little. (The sky is falling! The sky is falling!) Alas, when are human beings ever honest? It's too much of a risk.

Pants

Left with nothing else to blog about but an inside joke that I am now making open. A friend said today "I hate pants." And then "I probably shouldn't have said that, but they could prevent reproduction!" Pants ending the human race. I guess that could be a reason for nudists. They are protecting the human race. Except that doesn't really count unless you have a gang of nudists all having babies. So I guess not. But techincally, pants are a danger to the frequency of sex. They slow things down! What if there isn't enough time? Ok, so I'm really not going to get into that, but I decided I needed to post, and this was on my mind.

But before you leave, remember, pants are still a good thing. Don't try to walk around without them. Please.

Observation

Human beings are unique. They are interesting to observe. Observing is a hobby of mine. It's very useful too. I do it all the time. Looking in on situations and speculating the whole circumstance, it's like a wonderful little puzzle. And then you know something about one person or another or an event. Even if it doesn't have to do with you, it's nice to know. Human beings are unique. There are somethings that are predictable though. Some things you assume to irritate, or excite the person you are observing. But watch, when someone says something, or does something - watch the body language, the eyes. It's very interesting! Is the person under stress? Unsure? The flicker of eyes as they are observing too. Watch them, and then you get the immediate reaction as they take in the situation. From there, all sorts of theories can be made up, or planning, preparation...

Of course, one is never completely right. Human beings are unique. They can change instantly, faster than even they can see. In that case, you are in for the worst of luck, or the best. You'd better prepare for that too. Why, isn't it useful to know that in about the space of a month or two 'Sally' will be heartbroken and 'Polly' will be in heaven and you will be caught between the two - all because of 'bob'? I find that a bit useful, even if the wizardress of dreams doesn't. It's all in the body language, all in the eyes. Horrifying at times. Breaks my heart as well and this time I am thanking the stars I was wrong. At least, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong. Human beings are unique.

By the way, I am NOT a stalker.

Humanity

Humanity is BS. Really. I sort of went into this in 'Midnight', but everything about our lives is stupid, false, wrong. So when I go out and tell off things like money, you say, "oh, but money is important, for shelter, food," etc. Our shelters, our cities, suck. So sure, our fucked up money is important for our fucked up housing. But if its all corrupt... you have no money for no real house.

So, money as I previously said, is shiny rocks that have become green paper we all love. Our houses, all bunched together in one place and damned to stay there until someone burned or blew it up. Destroying, tearing apart nature as it is because we want it to be that way. Did it ever occur to you that nature was that way for a reason? (I'm not accusing you personally, because you most likely had nothing to do with this). But really, isn't a red flag when we start altering the course of life and Earth?

Plus, our plain old laziness. Because we really couldn't deal with working ourselves, we went ahead and killed the atmosphere because we didn't want to work, creativity is fine, but we are just not aware of what we are doing are we? Just like the changing the face of the Earth to our suiting, we also blow black stuff into the air and think it's all fine! Black smoke does not naturally appear into the air. So you think it's not going to do anything? Everything does something. 

In all, we suck. And yes, I accept if I want to live in this world, these things are necessary, and I can't fight it. But I can think it.

Money

You know what is really pointless? Money. Right now, we are all pulling hair out of our heads over money. Because lord, all that printed paper means a heck of a lot huh?

I don't get it. Sure, those papers once represented gold, and silver right? Except, when you pick up a five dollar bill, does that mean that somewhere there are five chunks of metal waiting especially for you? Does it? When was the last time someone made a connection with money as we know it today, representing gold? So it's supposed to be gold. Except what is gold? Oh, thats right. Shiny rocks we found in the earth! Ooh! I mean, yea, we love shiny rocks, but how cum our obsession and appreciation of shiny rocks lead us to killing ourselves over paper?

Isn't that just sad? 

Midnight

This is the first official entry of my new blog. Inspired by my two bffs. So here I am. It's Thanksgiving today, but only as of seven minutes ago. I should be asleep - or not. Who says I should be asleep? I am alive and working. The only reason is that its dark, so I should be unable to do a lot of things. Except humanity screwed with nature and now we have lights, and computers and you are reading these words on your computer instead of hearing it from me, or some other tribal member around a fire. Yes, humanity screwed with nature and so when the Earth ends, we can say 'we screwed up'. Oops. How clumsy of us. And the Earth is going to end. Do you really think anything can last forever? No. It happens, and according to our tiny time scale, the Earth is forever. But nope. It's gonna die one day, and when it dies, we will probably die with it, and the chapter of Earth and its Inhabitants will be over. Big deal. Either it happens in our lifetime or not. And yeah, global warming is one of the most predominant screw ups of our species. It's certainly speeding up Earth's destruction. Doesn't that suck? I wake up every day and frown at my window because we are failing to take care of our planet and be SMART. We are murderers.

I might say the Stars said for this to happen, but why would the Stars send us out here to kill a part of nature? I think we just failed the Stars' test.