Life

I have a belief that we are all dead. Why are we alive? What is alive? Because we have a heartbeat? What is a heartbeat? The movement of an organ inside our bodies? What is our body. Our body is a shield, one great big company of magical beings making our brains do action. So what is our brain? Some thing located in the skull that comes up with ideas, thoughts, and sends messages to carry out actions with the company that is the body. What are ideas; thoughts? Concepts that are not yet real, not yet in action. But nothing is real. The universe and everything supposedly in it, do not exist. The illusion that makes our living easier. But what if the fact that we have a heartbeat, and have a body, and brains, ideas and thoughts - what if all that is a factor of being dead? Not alive? Do we know that we are not in the afterworld? Are we supposed to remember the world before? Not necessarily. I think it is very likely, that after the thousands of years talking about the 'afterworld', what if this is the afterworld, to a life that we are not aware of. I find this very likely. We are all dead. 

Indecisive

I can be rather indecisive in my everything. It is an occasional event that I can make up my whole mind. Isn't that a but of a problem? Life is essentially like one of those games you play: a) go into the haunted house, or b) run away. If I can't make any decisions, then how am I supposed to survive? How have I survived so far? I make up my mind and then change it back. I never stay in the cold water long, nor the hot. I jump back and forth, so my life path would look like a squiggly line if drawn out. Wouldn't that make life harder, and less progressive? Maybe not. Maybe my indecisiveness is good, so I can see both sides of the plate and then never make up my mind as to which is better. I'm halfway down one road and halfway down the other. Now, I'm on the left road. I believe. But I'm halfway on the right road as well, so I'm on like the left road and a third of the right. Indecisive. I'm not even joking. One day this will be proven to be my hellish punishment for tricking my brother in the third grade.

TON Final

Kate observed them. She realized how amazingly happy and carefree they really did look. In the spring air, she remembered what had happened so easily before, the spring before... No! Of course not. Even with the knowledge that the Moon was weakening, she couldn't voluntarily abandon the Moon! Then again... all together...

Kate glanced over her shoulder. Stella was gone. The April wind blew. The chill was a reminder to stay awake, always aware, work was play, play was never play.  Kate closed her eyes and walked to the Supporters of the Sun.

"The Moon has weakened," commented Electra, stating the biting obvious as a greeting.

"Yes," admitted Kate, looking down at Ruby. Ruby did not look up.

"Can I... join you?" Kate said awkwardly, not fully understanding what she was doing.

"Sure," allowed Sapphire. The group rearranged themselves to fir Kate into the formation. As they all looked up at the sky, it flickered for half a second, and then it got substantially brighter. The way they were, they all read the sky. Stella appeared.

"The Moon has lost," said Kate with her eyes closed.

"I know." Stella's words were said coldly, pressing guilt upon her. But now it was guilt from two sides. It was really a matter of the Sun or the Moon for the first time. Ruby opened her eyes to Stella's frown. Kate peeked.

"Perhaps," Kate offered. "It is the way we must go."

TON (5)

Over the tree passes of the moon, the two groups became even more estranged than ever before. The two spirits of the Sun and Moon continued to war, causing chaos almost everywhere. Right down to the six girls. But as the winter gave way to the spring, things seemed to lean to one side. Kate and Stella would often find themselves gazing off to the Sun supporters, basking in the noon while they hid by their tree. The thing was that for a moment, they seemed happy! A lost world, that perhaps they were a part of. But it lasted only a minute. And the rest of the time, they faithfully stood by the Moon, and with Ruby there, they stood where they did. Watching the Sun supporters. After all, it was not like anything could ever remotely be the same ever again.

And so, three passes of the moon later, the Supporters of SUn lay where they would. The same old place, once a place of gathering, now only for them. They lay in a formation letting the sun fall on them. 

"Horrible." Kate scowled. She looked beside her, but only Stella was there.

Stella pointed to the banding place of the Sun, where out in the open, was Ruby. She, looking quite traitorous, had walked up to the enemy. The other half of the old SSB had long been just - 'the enemy'. 

"Look," breathed Kate in horror. Ruby sat in the middle of the circle - lay down -  and began the gesture of the Sun. Ruby was worshipping the Sun.

TON (4)

"I had a vision."

The words were said abruptly and simply at the noon of a winter day. The words were spoken by a girl wrapped in a scarf, with her hand on a tree. The Tree.

"A vision?" repeated Ruby, glancing a disbelieving look at her. "How?"

"Through a dream, don't usually have them that way though." Kate's eyes remained on the Tree.

"Really, a vision? About what?"

"About the war."

"Us?" asked Ruby urgently.

"We will not win. The Sun will win."

"That can't be." Stella squinted.

"I saw that the Moon will fall, and then so will we," said Kate, and quietly added "Whether that fact be good or bad."

Stella caught it.

"Good or bad? It is undoubtedly bad!"

"If the stars say it is to be so, can it really be bad? If the stars say it is so, then it is meant to be."

Both Ruby and Stella looked at Kate in an odd way.

TON (3)

Stella looked at the moon. She saw it within that moment: her leader. A beautiful spirit, a pearl gleaming against the navy of the night. So sure that the Moon was the right way, the one who should rule the sky. Principals of stealth, excitement and preparation wen with the Moon; a seemingly most popular candidate. Stella thought this, sitting halfway through her window. She knew as she prayed to the Moon, her companions, now the enemy, would be sleeping. Not supporting. They would be up at dawn.

Dawn. The beauty of the morning, before the conspiracies that darken life have begun. These were the thoughts of Gwendolyn, peering out into the world. The sky over the New York City skyline, pink and blue slowly growing warmer. Principals of kindness, freedom and exploration pertained to the Sun and were valued deeply by Gwendolyn. To shine apart and not follow others and not let night muddle you thoughts. Gwendolyn felt bad for those she once spent time with, agreed with. Now they were shadowed, and she could not save them. After all  - as Gwendolyn was thinking - there was the Sun to be thinking about.

TON (2)

This is Part II of this short story I've broken up. If this makes no sense to you, check my earlier post which is part I. This will develop into a story in the next few chapters... just so you know, this is about the Sun and the Moon having a war and six girls taking sides. Try to enjoy. :)

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"We just protected ourselves from shame," said Stella.

"Do you know how mean that is?" cried Gwendolyn.

"It wasn't even like that! You were cheering me on!" Electra continued.

"No, were were not!" retorted Ruby.

"Yes, you were."

"The point being what you did after Electra joined the Sun - "

"For protection, anger...." began Kate.

"No, it was just being mean!" said Sapphire.

"Look, it's not working." Stella rolled her eyes as the bickering continued for several more minutes.

"Why does it matter if we support the Sun? You should too!" said Sapphire.

"As I have said before, being associated with the Sun is... undesirable..." Kate tried to explain.

"Still no reason to abandon half the society, in such a cruel way."

"This is obviously a story no one understands," sighed Ruby.

"And our meeting is already over," said Gwendolyn looking at her watch.

They collectively stood up, and rearranged the chairs and tables, not meant for a crowd to be debating over. Stella had been right, as she was now congratulating herself. The meeting had been useless renewal of the same old problems and ignorance.

TON (1)

Trials of Nature

"The Secret Society of Buttercup is now called to order!" declared Sapphire. Sh set down her usual treat - white with pink icing. Everyone had their specific orders; Stella's being a devil dog.

"What is the subject of today's meeting?" asked Kate, knowing fully well why thy were there, but asked out of custom and order.

"I believe we are discussing the Fifth Official Matter of the SSB said Electra, gravely picking the icing off of her cupcake.

"Right, the Fifth Matter being, one of the most - controversial, and frankly stupid issues - "

"That is a matter opinion," interrupted Kate.

"For me to decide," said Sapphire with arrogance. No one commented. Sapphire was the leader of the SSB, and the unofficial outside group that made up the Society. And even in the middle of this war, they respected her.

"It seems that we find ourselves divided among our masters," said Sapphire.

"This meeting isn't going to work," said Stella in warning tones.

"Daddzy says it will," insisted Sapphire. She, Gwendolyn and Electra were all of the same party. Kate looked smug while Stella and Ruby glanced at each other.

"We should just get this over with," said Gwendolyn. "After this Society was formed, we got swept up into this war, destroying ever after our warm connections."

"That's true," allowed Stella.

"Over a stupid reason," repeated Sapphire. "And the stretching of the truth.

"Just why?" cried Electra. "You went and accused me and that's when it started."

"But we only accused you of what you did!" protested Kate.

"We didn't even declare war." defended Ruby.

"Oh, but what did you do? You shunned us, ridiculed us, just for supporting the Sun - " began Gwendolyn.

"Do you know what that means?!"

Wisdom

I was going to tell you today, of some very wise things. I tell you  I knew some wise things, I tell you I know them now. The one problem is that I'm on my way, to do something unlike writing. I'm on my way to try and make 2 hours fit in one. I'm on my way to go pretend I am someone so I can survive long enough to figure out who I am. I'm on my way to go pray to the moon for she is not manmade. I'm on my way to die of heat and freeze to death in one wonderful second. I'm on my way to write the trillions of stories I wrote today, in my head. I'm on my way to go mourn my idol and fear for my future. As you can see, I am very busy and thus you must try to sleep tonight, without the enlightenment of my wisdom.

Mind

Songs that float amongst the unknown thoughts of  the spirits alive. Truth hidden my society and recklessness smothered by souls trapped in the belief that there is a golden time which they have exited. Every time is a golden time my children, every moment is specifically important and historical, with meaning to never, ever be forgotten. Do not cherish winter more than summer, not fall's happiness to spring's. Every nonexistent moment you are alive, live. Force is a debatable role in all action, so let yourself be force by yourself. Let guitars sing you to sleep so the cold winters air can soak into your being like the baths of lava you have just left. Let stories you have never heard of be explained in the upmost detail, lengthened into individual odysseys. This is your inner being which is being revealed, the most unique thing to ever not be seen. Picture the air that is not, but the reality is we are all in the sky being sent on missions of greatest importance - each and every one of us. The universe is Not. You are Not. I am Not.

Observation

Human beings are unique. They are interesting to observe. Observing is a hobby of mine. It's very useful too. I do it all the time. Looking in on situations and speculating the whole circumstance, it's like a wonderful little puzzle. And then you know something about one person or another or an event. Even if it doesn't have to do with you, it's nice to know. Human beings are unique. There are somethings that are predictable though. Some things you assume to irritate, or excite the person you are observing. But watch, when someone says something, or does something - watch the body language, the eyes. It's very interesting! Is the person under stress? Unsure? The flicker of eyes as they are observing too. Watch them, and then you get the immediate reaction as they take in the situation. From there, all sorts of theories can be made up, or planning, preparation...

Of course, one is never completely right. Human beings are unique. They can change instantly, faster than even they can see. In that case, you are in for the worst of luck, or the best. You'd better prepare for that too. Why, isn't it useful to know that in about the space of a month or two 'Sally' will be heartbroken and 'Polly' will be in heaven and you will be caught between the two - all because of 'bob'? I find that a bit useful, even if the wizardress of dreams doesn't. It's all in the body language, all in the eyes. Horrifying at times. Breaks my heart as well and this time I am thanking the stars I was wrong. At least, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong. Human beings are unique.

By the way, I am NOT a stalker.

Nothing

I have nothing to share with you. Nothing doesn't exist. As we all know. Whatever we call nothing is really something - even if its a white space, or a black space... it's something. So, when I say "I have nothing to share with you" I do have something. But what? Nothing of any importance or wisdom. Then again, importance is an opinion. But really, I've made no discoveries in life beyond the everyday blah. Nothing has happened to change my perspective, nothing has enlightened me...

Nothing as in... non existence. Not there. Nothing has entered my head that I consider valuable. I haven't done anything but think about my friends and cute stuffed animals (specifically a raccoon, panda and silver back gorilla). I've also been worrying about time and being twelve now but thirteen next year. I made a paper notebook and played Blues Clues cause me and my brother love to pretend to be four years old. Then I read my romance novel to my silver back gorilla and panda, who are only six months and two and a half years. Then I sort of sat, eating spaghetti and listening to the metronome sound that has been ticking outside window all afternoon and at this point well into the night. I compulsively tapped my foot - oh my god it stopped. For the first time in hours it just stopped. The metronome sto - oh. There it is. Anyway, after I tapped my foot, I turned on Noggin, and Little Bear was on. So I choreographed a ballet to the music of Little Bear - the episode where he runs around with a purple and orange balloon. 

See what I mean by nothing?